Halloweiners.
I love this day. When all the sugar-crazed kids come knocking on my door, some with a sweet "trick or treat!", some with a blank "what-the-hell-do-I-do-now" stare, expecting all sorts of candy and chocolate to fill their little bellies. I absolutely love it!
But I've noticed one thing: the costumes aren't varying up much. I've seen the standard Batman, Fairy, Spider-Man, Angel and Princess. The only mild surprises were a little Santa and a trio of Care Bears (I have a soft spot for multi-colored bears). But yeah, nothing too out of the ordinary. Where's the creativity? I mean, I know these tykes are a bit young to really put an evening into brainstorming on the most original costume to date, but what about the parents? Are they just getting lazy?
Or are they saving the real creativity for themselves? Now, I've seen some pretty elaborate adult costumes (and I'm not talking the standard skank-wear some women feel entitled to wear on Halloween). Mind you, most of them have been from gay men, but whatever.
I could say that the older we get, the more we try to hold on to Halloween. But here's what gets me. Teenagers. Somewhere after the age of 12, kids kinda stop giving a shit. They show up at my door in jeans and a sweatshirt, hold out their plastic bags and mutter a barely audible "trickertreat". WTF? I let it go the first time, giving the scrubby adolescent a fistful of candy. But by teenager #5 I'd had it.
Awkward Teenager: "Trickertreat"
Me: "Where's your costume?"
AT: "Heh, heh.."
Me: "No seriously, where's your costume?"
AT: "Awww...I dunno. I didn't wear one."
Me: "And now you expect some candy, eh?"
AT: "Well, uhh...yeah."
Me: "You get one piece. Next year, try harder."
AT: (scowl)
Me: (scowl back)
I wish I could have taken that damn piece of candy back. What gives? I mean, yeah, it's cold outside and you might think "what's the point of wearing a costume if I'm just gonna cover it up with a jacket." But there is a point. It's called HALLOWEEN. It's fun. SUCK.IT.UP.
When I was a kid (hell yeah I'm bringing out the "when I was a kid" bit) living up in Toronto where, by the end of October, it was barely 32 degrees outside, my mother forced me to put on three layers of clothing underneath my costume because I didn't want to cover it up with a coat. I didn't care that I looked like the Michelin Man's Indian sister and that I waddled more than I walked. I did it because this was the only day of the year I COULD look like this. I did it for the CANDY. I earned that shit and I expect these "I'm too cool to dress up" pimply-faced teenagers to do the same. Otherwise, stay home.
Regardless, it was a successful Halloween. I managed to give away most of the candy (better that it's some parent's problem than my ass's) and I'm totally looking forward to seeing all these little rugrats next year.
Happy Halloween everyone!
But I've noticed one thing: the costumes aren't varying up much. I've seen the standard Batman, Fairy, Spider-Man, Angel and Princess. The only mild surprises were a little Santa and a trio of Care Bears (I have a soft spot for multi-colored bears). But yeah, nothing too out of the ordinary. Where's the creativity? I mean, I know these tykes are a bit young to really put an evening into brainstorming on the most original costume to date, but what about the parents? Are they just getting lazy?
Or are they saving the real creativity for themselves? Now, I've seen some pretty elaborate adult costumes (and I'm not talking the standard skank-wear some women feel entitled to wear on Halloween). Mind you, most of them have been from gay men, but whatever.
I could say that the older we get, the more we try to hold on to Halloween. But here's what gets me. Teenagers. Somewhere after the age of 12, kids kinda stop giving a shit. They show up at my door in jeans and a sweatshirt, hold out their plastic bags and mutter a barely audible "trickertreat". WTF? I let it go the first time, giving the scrubby adolescent a fistful of candy. But by teenager #5 I'd had it.
Awkward Teenager: "Trickertreat"
Me: "Where's your costume?"
AT: "Heh, heh.."
Me: "No seriously, where's your costume?"
AT: "Awww...I dunno. I didn't wear one."
Me: "And now you expect some candy, eh?"
AT: "Well, uhh...yeah."
Me: "You get one piece. Next year, try harder."
AT: (scowl)
Me: (scowl back)
I wish I could have taken that damn piece of candy back. What gives? I mean, yeah, it's cold outside and you might think "what's the point of wearing a costume if I'm just gonna cover it up with a jacket." But there is a point. It's called HALLOWEEN. It's fun. SUCK.IT.UP.
When I was a kid (hell yeah I'm bringing out the "when I was a kid" bit) living up in Toronto where, by the end of October, it was barely 32 degrees outside, my mother forced me to put on three layers of clothing underneath my costume because I didn't want to cover it up with a coat. I didn't care that I looked like the Michelin Man's Indian sister and that I waddled more than I walked. I did it because this was the only day of the year I COULD look like this. I did it for the CANDY. I earned that shit and I expect these "I'm too cool to dress up" pimply-faced teenagers to do the same. Otherwise, stay home.
Regardless, it was a successful Halloween. I managed to give away most of the candy (better that it's some parent's problem than my ass's) and I'm totally looking forward to seeing all these little rugrats next year.
Happy Halloween everyone!
posted by DP at 8:48 PM
6 Comments:
as i recall, ms. deep loves her some naughty halloween costumes. a dominatrix was it? ;)
glad you're back on teh blog!!
hey! that was ONE halloween! and i was covered up! jeez...where's the loyalty virgs? ;)
See? Halloween is PRECISELY why you need to get your ass back to SF faster than a marina girl in a skanky milkmaid costume bitin' a big ol' teat, girl. You KNOW this city is Halloween central. I couldn't believe some of the kids' costumes here - completely creative (the TransAmerica building? With pictures hand drawn into every window? come ON!)
What other tricks do I need to pull out of my ass to get you two to move here?? MOOOOOOVEEE!!
I think it's safe to say that most teenagers shouldn't be let out of the house until they are 21. I just want to be like... um, when you're 27 you're going to look back and go crap, I wasted all that attitude.
But me saying that to the teenagers only proves to them that (eye roll here) yes, they are WAY TO COOL for me.
When I didn't wear a costume and they asked me why I wasn't wearing one I retorted that I was. When they asked me what I was supposed to be I gave them a stern look and said that I was a serial murderer, they look like everyone else. They laughed at first, but because my stare didn't waver, their smiles did. They reached into their bowls and handed me candy until I stopped making that face. Best costume ever!
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