Why do you tease me so Ferrero Rocher?

What the hell is it about chocolate? I mean really. C'mon! How can one, bite-sized, scrumptious little piece make me lose all my senses? Why is it that every time I see a new news story about the benefits of chocolate, how chocolate will save you from a heart attack, how chocolate will one day be President and will save the world from evil non-chocolate believers, that I leap with joy? "I can eat all the chocolate I want!" I proclaim. And then my gullible ass happily dives into the easy-to-open box, plucking away one helpless morsel after another, letting the creamy goodness melt in my mouth and without a moment's hesitation of how clean my hands really are, lick my fingers so not one molecule is left outside my mouth. It's sickening, disgusting behavior. Yet I keep indulging, like some twisted, chocolate-addict FREAK. That's when the hate settles in. Hate, not for my weakness, but for the sneaky, deceitful, crushed nuts covered piece of chocolate. You coy little bastard. I can almost hear you laughing. Damn you! That's when I put my foot down and swear to never touch you again!

That is, until I see an article stating the benefits of eating chocolate while PMSing. Y'know, those calories don't even count! Who knew?